Im still here!. Cant quite work me out though. Had a super day at work....am enjoyin it whilst it lasts seeing as im unemployed again after Friday.
In fact today my mood sorta suited the day. Fresh!
I wish my feelings and thoughts would stabilise though. I soooo dont need them yawing around the way they are. One minute im at the bottom (hence previous post..for which my apologies if i scared anyone...not intended!) the next im about as high as it gets.
I know everyone has swings of emotion and feeling but i feel like im on a permanent rollercoaster and it can be quite scary.
Im battling my revulsion for my appearance at the moment. I hate me!.
I have rolls that would put a bakery to shame....and my skin has reverted back to teenage hormone status. Im way past that ffs.
Wish i could put it down to bad living but i cant...unfortunately. I eat very healthily (ok i have the occasional choc bar thrown in...im human what can i say?) and i exercise regularly. I just cannot shift the weight.
My partner loves me as i am...but how can he?...honestly. No one...if they are being 100% truthful...likes the sight of pale wobbly flesh. Its vile!
I have a great personality im told....but you know what?...id swap it anyday for a svelte size 10/12 and clear skin.
I think i will go an watch an action movie...escapism works wonders!